Role Model

It’s going to be a resplendent day.  I’ve had some coffee and it’s sunny and I’ve already had about 10 variables magically disappear from my the data that I’m working with, and I can’t for the life of me figure out where they’ve gone.  But it’s ok!  I’ll just recreate it.  It will take me all day, but thus is life.  Peaches and Tavi (the amazing 14 year old fashion blogger, if you’ve never heard of her) are on Q today, so I’m gearing up for some interesting conversations over the next hour and a half.  Some guy from Tofino, BC is currently on the show talking about how Tofino is putting in a ban for big box stores, franchises and fast food restaurants.  I think that’s totally awesome.  Since there is always opposition, people are trying to fight it, saying that it’s pretentious and against the Charter of Rights.  I disagree; it’s totally hippy-dippy, but that’s what Tofino is about, right?  Surfing, awesomeness and hopefully double denim?  And the Charter of Rights applies to the individual, doesn’t it?  Not businesses.  Especially chain businesses that are even Canadian owned, so screw them.  I dropped Law, so what I think I know about the Charter and its implications is very likely wrong, just so you know.

 I’m trying to start The Cure (I think I will end up a week behind since I started reading the book late and thus haven’t really done any of the week one tasks), so I filled out the interview thing that he has in the book.  It asks about your favourite things and role models and stuff, and I realised that I don’t have a role model.  If I don’t have a role model than how can I have a purpose?  What’s my purpose, what am I doing with my life?  It’s not that I don’t know people worth emulating, I just don’t have a clear enough vision of my life to have someone whose life I strive to have.  So what started as trying to make my living room more comfortable ended up with me being very uncertain about my own identity.  This is so much worse than last week when I had to decide whether or not I liked long hair or if I have just been socially programmed to think girls have long hair.  And I didn’t even decide, considering that my hair is now at a medium length.  I’m so half assed.  And it’s only week one.

 I ran home last night from work after a long lament with myself about how much I did not want to run home.  It sucked and I didn’t want to do it, but I guess I felt good at the end (when I stopped running), so I was proud of myself for doing something that I didn’t want to do.  Especially considering that I was talking about how low my motivation is just hours before I forced myself to run.  Maybe I am developing a sense of self discipline that I can stretch to other areas of my life:  expanding my career, keeping my house tidy, taking Henry for long walks, writing letters, finding a role model, et al.  Or not.  I’m exhausted just thinking about all this.

Since I’m probably just going to steal someone else’s:   Who’s your role model?

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